Andrew M. Barnes

I don’t generally like to talk on the phone.  Most of the time I like to keep it short and to the point.  1 out of 10 calls is for longer periods of time….if even that.  It is safe to say I am not a social butterfly.

Sometimes when a conversation goes longer than what I was shooting for I start to space out.  I might say some interesting things to prove I’m listening.  My brain kinda works like Google, when you type in some keywords you get a variety of information, pictures, etc.  Here’s an example of a hypothetical phone call that I’ve intended to last mabye 30 seconds to a minute.

Some Dude: Hello.
Me: Hey man, what’s going on?
Some Dude: Not much, what are you doin’?
Me: Well, just wanted to see if you’d be interested in grabbing lunch today.
Some Dude: Yeah, possibly.  What were you thinkin’?
Me: I dunno, I’ll eat just about anything that isn’t moving, wait I take that back.
Some Dude: (fake laugh) I hear that!
Me: Yea, no seriously it doesn’t matter to me, I’m up for anything.
Some Dude: Let me think about my schedule.
—In case you missed it this where things get bad—
Me: Yea, sure.
Some Dude: Uhhh, dchoochoo-tsitsitsi cheche ummmmm.  I prooooobably have somewhere around an hour or so free so uhhhh um
Me: yea
Some Dude: I think if we wanna beat traffic…iojjivhoarihlaksdjfiohvlakeajfaoiwefjaovnaeoh…stupid 485…joiaiuhufhovjdfjosifhvuaralfjoidjoivjvasi.
—pause—
Me: Yea that thing is taking forever.
Some Dude: rant, rant, rant-rant-rant-rant, rant rant, and rant some more…the goverment…rant rant….they don’t care….rant rant.
Me: Thats how I feel about it>
Some Dude: I just pisses me off to no end, rant rant rant, and then this election coming up, rant rant rant, did you see that ad on tv?
Me: I dont even care anymore, I’m votin for myself.
Some Dude: Dude, I’d vote for you (real laugh).  Thatd be cool though.
Me: Yea maybe one day.
Some Dude: It’ just the way…ramble ramble ramble…blah blarambletido blah blah…ramble
—100% space out achieved—
—pause—
Me: Yea (sigh)
—pause—
Me: Um so just call me later when you figure it out.
Some Dude: Yea, I’m thinkin like Chilis at noon.
Me: Cool.

It seems short because I appreviated certain parts.  In real life this conversation would have lasted around 2 hours. 

All that to say that this week Alli went out of town, and when I say out of town I mean this place.  We normally don’t talk long.  If we ever talk for an hour its not because we’re telling jokes.  We bought a 120 minute phone card and once you incorporate the international rates, we had whopping (sp?) 30mins to talk.  After two nights folks we have successfully burned through that card.  Keep in mind our goal was talk for no longer than 5 minutes a day.  I’m pretty much a failure at life. (<— click them all)

I’ll be blogging more about my failures in the near present.